Last Tuesday I got a phonecall from Romney the Entertainment manager at the Art House Hotel in Sydney asking me if I could fill in for an artist that had cancelled that night. I enthusiastically said yes and even changed some plans with friends so that I could go to the gig.
So I went to the Art House and played what I thought to be an excellent gig. I felt really “on” and was having fun talking to and interacting with the crowd. After the gig, several people in the audience came up to me to tell me how much they had enjoyed it. A gentleman from the USA offered to buy me a drink, I accepted so we sat down to have a chat. Mojan was his name and he said “You deserve a much bigger crowd so I thought the least I could do was buy you a drink”. I said “Thanks” and we talked for about half an hour about our lives. I left soon after feeling great about the gig and looking forward to the next one.
Later in the week, I emailed Romney to say thanks for calling me to fill in at the gig I had a great time. I got a reply back the same day that said “Unfortunately the management and staff on duty on Tuesday evening have mentioned to me that the material was not in line with The ArtHouse Hotel and what we generally offer. As this is the case future gigs have been filled on the advice that I have received. Thank you again and I wish you all the best in the future.”
“What?” I thought. ”But it went so well”. How could the people in the bar love it and go out of their way to tell me and the bar staff had a totally different opinion. I was really hurt and confused. I let it get me down.
My wife said “but you know the truth! Why does it bother you”. To which I replied “Oh, I guess I just want everyone to like me”. I kind of half laughed when I said it because it sounded so ridiculous. I thought, does everyone love “Shakira” or “Pink” or “Bono”, no they don’t. It is a matter of taste. But it still hurt. I am a sensitive person. But in this industry I have to grow a thick skin or I am in trouble.
I think my friend and fellow songwriter Pave Leclair hit the nail on the head when he said:
“You know, there is a large part of your story that I find encouraging. The more you become of yourself, the closer you are to finding your audience and the easier it is for them to identify with you. Of course in the process, you are very likely to turn a lot of people off who aren’t into that special thing that you do. They don’t count though. Its all quite similar to finding the right girl I reckon.”
Hearing that from Pave really sorted me out. I am so grateful.